FRUITLESS

I’m still here, waking up, while I dream every morning

There was something called love, and we both shared it; it was beautiful

I still dream of the euphoric moment, when in our salad days we were ignorant of decisions

Until when

We needed food for our stomachs and you very well couldn’t secure a three square meal for yourself

Yes! I could have waited

But we both know that time favored you more, that it did with me

So,

When the potbellied middle aged man

Asked me to marry him

I knew

Automatically

That not in a million years

Would I have said Yes

But it came to the point

When I had to brood

And decide

I never said that love didn’t matter

It really did

That is why it hurt me then, that is why it hurts, even now

Because

With no trace of alacrity

I agreed

I decided to marry him

He would give me the life that money could buy

As for love

If I loved him?

No!

So I suberized my heart

Deceived myself

That I would forget you

It’s been years

Familiarity and friendship

And more content on my path

I have survived to today

Everything I never had

Every opportunity I ever missed as a child

They, my children

They have it, abundantly, than I would have imagined

 I love them

I love my family

I cherish them

That is why

When the subject of You arises

Every day

In my brain

I ricochet

Throw away all the thoughts of how our kids would have looked like

Or how it would sound if I was called a Mrs. You

I’m proud of you

That you have made it in life

And you have, now, become the dream of many women

Except that none of whom you choose to be your bride

Will love you as much as I did

I agree when they say “Promises are meant to be broken”

Dear I admit I have broken mine

‘You’ll have me forever’

I hear my own words echo to me

Too many times

It makes me blench

But I remember myself

As always

Where I am

Now

And why I need to keep on surviving this

I chose this……….

Article By:
Aninwaa Boakye-Dankwa (Articles-Gh)